


i'll stay vulnerable (don't let go)

by nighting_gale17



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: BAMF Carlos, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fire Fam - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Protective Carlos, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23272516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nighting_gale17/pseuds/nighting_gale17
Summary: An unexpected phone call from an ex-boyfriend he thought he left in New York tips TK's world on its axis.Luckily, he's got Carlos there to catch him if he falls.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, TK Strand/Alex Young (past)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 526





	i'll stay vulnerable (don't let go)

**Author's Note:**

> first and foremost thank you to @liesoverthec for making the ending not quite as abrupt as a brick wall to the face (ily bon)
> 
> second i listened to vulnerable- selena gomez while writing this and recommend doing the same because for some reason it makes the story that much more emotional (or that might just be me lol)
> 
> third, i hope you guys enjoy this story :) i really wished the show had explored more of the medical complications following TK's hospitalization and his struggle with his feelings toward Alex, so I decided to write it! leave a comment and tell me what yall thought! i love hearing from you
> 
> i hope this brings you a little reprieve in the craziness of today's world <3 stay safe and be well, everyone
> 
> as always find me on tumblr @nighting-gale17

“Tyler, babe, it’s so nice to hear your voice.”

TK felt his breath hitch at the familiar voice, cold dread shooting down his spine and all of the sudden the glass of water he’d been carrying slipped from his hands. It crashed onto the floor, soaking his feet and the floor in water but TK didn’t even notice. “Alex?” he breathed out, his hands beginning to shake.

“Of course, darling! Who else would it be? It’s not like you have any other friends who would call you.” Alex’s voice was pleasant and upbeat, despite the contrasting words he spoke.

He thinks someone might have been trying to get his attention. He could faintly hear their voice like an annoying buzz but he couldn’t focus on anything other than his ex-boyfriend’s voice in his ear. “W-Why are—” his tongue felt jumbled in his mouth, his words stuttering and slurring together like they had when he’d first woken from his coma and found himself unable to string a sentence together. “W—”

“Oh, stop that now, Tyler,” Alex said, annoyance obvious in his tone and TK automatically found himself biting down hard on his tongue to get himself to stop. “You know I hate the stuttering and muttering.”

“Sorry.” TK managed to choke out, spitting the words past his tongue that felt like lead in his mouth.

“There we go!” Alex’s voice was chipper now, and TK felt himself relax just a fraction. He wasn’t mad, that was good—Alex always did forgive him so easily. He knows he doesn’t deserve Alex’s kindness most of the time but—

_No!_ TK shouted at himself, whispers of remembered words exchanged in his therapist's office coming back to him. That wasn’t true. TK deserved better than Alex. Alex manipulated him. TK did deserve kindness. _Alex manipulated him,_ he repeated to himself, but he couldn’t stop the doubt niggling at the edge of his mind.

“Anyway,” Alex was continuing, ignorant or uncaring of TK’s inner turmoil. “I’ve been wondering where you’ve been, baby. I wanted to apologize—everything that happened was just a big mistake, and we all make those, right? I’ve forgiven you for plenty I didn’t have to—like your addiction.”

TK could hear the poorly veiled disgust when Alex mentioned his addiction and it made him want to curl up in on himself. He’d never made an effort to disguise his disappointment about TK’s addiction and therefore his avoidance of any addictive substances—but he was right. He was one of the only people in his life, other than his dad, who didn’t treat him like he was going to break at any second or that he was a pariah because of his past addiction.

“How about we give that dinner one more chance, baby?” Alex asked, a smile in his voice. “I think we’ll both like the way it ends this time. I’ll pick you up at 8 tonight.”

TK took a slow breath, trying to remember the speaking exercises he’d done a few weeks ago. “I-I’m not—n—no—” he felt tears of frustration spring his eyes as he struggled to get the words out, to make his brain cooperate with his mouth.

“Oh, I know you’re not in New York, Tyler,” Alex said easily. “You moved to Austin with your father to help rebuild some station house in the city.”

Alex knew he wasn’t in New York anymore.

Alex knew he was in Austin.

“I know your shift ends around six, so I’ll come to pick you up at the station house and we’ll go to a nice fancy dinner and try this over again, okay baby?”

Alex knew where he worked.

Alex knew his _shift schedule_.

“No!” TK finally managed to yell out, the word more firm and clear than anything else he’d tried to say over the phone.

Alex was silent for a long time, and TK feared and hoped that he’d hung up when he heard his quiet voice, “Did you just yell? At _me_?”

TK felt his breath catch in his throat and the dread he’d felt when he’d answered the phone returned full force. He could see Alex’s angry face in his mind. What was he thinking? Why did he yell at him? Nothing good ever happened when he yelled at Alex, Alex never deserved it and TK should know better than to try and do something like that. God, he was such a fucking idiot.

“I’m trying to be a good boyfriend, treat my love to a gorgeous night out at an expensive and fancy diner, and you’re yelling at me? Telling me no?” Alex’s voice was rising. “You should be grateful I put up with your stupid ass for four years! I’m the only one who could ever love you, and you’re acting like such an ungrateful little bitch! Be ready at six, Tyler.”

The line went dead and all of a sudden the only thing TK could hear was the blood rushing in his ears.

Alex was angry.

Alex was coming here. To his home. His safe space. His _family_.

He blinked, slowly becoming aware of a gentle squeezing on his arm. Wait, when had he closed his eyes? He frowned slightly, opening his eyes and finding himself—on the floor? His Dad crouched in front fo him became the first thing he was able to focus on, his mouth moving but unable to make out any of the jumbled words he was saying. He was making exaggerated motions with his hand near his chest, in and out, and in and out—

TK gasped in a large breath as everything seemed to hit him at once. His phone slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor at his side.

“There you go, TK, keep that up. Deep breaths.” Dad encouraged, his voice sounding thick and muffled to his ears.

TK tried to keep breathing. He was intensely aware all of the sudden of Mateo and Marjan crouched next to Dad, staring at him with worry and concern in their eyes. Paul was to his right, hovering with worry like he usually did and TK knew the warm, solid presence behind him and keeping him upright was Judd. And Alex—

TK struggled to talk, his mouth gasping around the words he was desperately trying to say. The familiar tears of frustration returned, combined with panic and dread of knowing Alex was going to be _here_ soon and TK couldn’t do anything about it. “A-A—” he slammed his fist against the floor in frustration, ignoring the spike of pain that went throbbing up his arm. “X—h-he comi—”

“Alex is coming?” Dad guessed, squeezing TK’s hand tightly to try and comfort him.

TK nodded, scrambling to grab onto his Dad, his heart racing and panic thrumming through him.

“Okay, okay, we’ll handle it, TK,” Dad soothed, pulling TK against his chest and gently running a hand down the back of his head. “We’ll handle it. You have to calm down, right now. He won’t get to you here. You’re safe.”

It was hard, but eventually, TK managed to get his breathing back to some semblance of normal. When his heart didn’t feel like it was going to explode out of his chest, Dad gently helped him to his feet and pulled him in a tight hug. TK returned the hug just as tightly, the small action doing more to calm his nerves than Dad probably realized. He still didn’t dare try to speak; his tongue still felt heavy in his mouth and his jaw ached.

“Come on, kid, why don’t you sit down and tell us what the hell just happened?” Judd suggested, putting his hand gently on TK’s back. With Dad’s help, they managed to get him sitting on the edge of the ladder truck.

“Al-Alex—ing ‘ere.” TK’s let out a frustrated huff, his eyes stinging with tears again. His words were still slurring together, too heavy and tumbling strangely out of his mouth.

“Hey, it’s alright, TK,” Dad murmured, rubbing his hand down TK’s back. “The doctor said this might happen every once in a while for a couple of months if you get too stressed.”

TK shook his head, angrily wiping the back of his hand over his cheeks. He hated this. He hated that he couldn’t fucking talk like a normal goddamn person even almost four months after waking up from his coma. He hated that he was still so angry and still so goddamn terrified of Alex coming back to him. He hated that there was still such a large part of his heart that was in love with the man that had broken it.

“Do you want me to tell them?” Dad asked quietly, glancing from him to the rest of the team.

TK nodded miserably. They already kind of knew what happened and the full—extent, of his fucked up relationship with Alex, was bound to come out sooner or later.

“TK was going to propose to Alex, just before we left New York. That’s when Alex told him he’d been cheating on him and was breaking up with him, as you guys know.” Dad sighed.

“Yeah, the bad breakup.” Judd frowned. “But why’s he coming here?”

“Best guess he wants TK back.” Dad rubbed TK’s back comfortingly when he pressed his face in his hands as he continued explaining. “It wasn’t the… healthiest relationship. And—Officer Reyes!”

TK’s head snapped up and his eyes locked on Carlos rushing over to them in full uniform, his cruiser parked haphazardly in front of the station house with the lights still on. TK stumbled to his feet and practically threw himself at his boyfriend, burying his face in the brook of his neck and clutching the back of his patrol uniform tightly.

“Hey, it’s okay, Ty, you’re okay.” Carlos murmured in his ear, pressing a kiss against his temple. “Your Dad told me what’s going on. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna let him touch you, I promise.”

“He’s got a restraining order against him?” TK could hear Marjan’s surprised voice behind him and squeezed his eyes shut tighter as his Dad murmured confirmation.

“H-He’s gn-gon—” TK stumbled over his words.

“Hey, he’s not going to do anything, okay?” Carlos leaned back slightly and gently cupped TK’s face in his hands. His thumb brushed over his cheeks as those wide brown eyes gazed at him full of determination. “Owen told me about the restraining order, cariño. If he so much steps foot in front of the station house I’ll be able to arrest him.”

TK closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Carlos’, taking a deep, shaky breath as if he could physically draw strength from his rock of a boyfriend. “—ank ‘o.” he whispered.

“Always,” Came Carlos’ soft reply, thumb gently caressing his cheekbone.

xxx

“Tyler, baby?”

Hearing his voice was like TK had been doused in cold fear and he instinctively shrunk back in on himself, the death grip he had on Dad’s hand getting tighter. He took a deep breath and slowly turned around to see Alex standing right outside the entrance to the station, an easy smile and curiosity on his face.

Of course, TK knew better now than to trust it.

“Alex,” TK said slowly, hoping he seemed calmer on the outside than he felt. “You need t-to leave.”

A flicker of annoyance crossed Alex’s face but it was gone as quickly as it came. “Come on, baby, I’m leaving with you. We got dinner to catch soon and I’ve picked out something nice for you to wear.” That easy smile was back, but there was something sharp at the edges that made TK’s stomach twist uneasily.

“I’m not g-go-g—” the words got stuck in his throat again and frustration built up in his chest. Before it could get overwhelming again, it was gone as soon as it came when he felt Carlos’ hand settle firmly against his lower back. He took a deep breath, leaning gratefully into the touch and drawing strength from his boyfriend. “I’m not going with you,” he repeated slowly, but more firmly.

Alex’s smile fell from his face and his gaze focused on the arm Carlos had wrapped around TK’s waist. The look on his face hardened and he went to step closer, but Carlos’s cold voice stopped him dead in his tracks. “You come any closer and you will be arrested for trespassing and violation of a restraining order.”

From the corner of his eye, TK knew Carlos had his other hand resting threateningly over the taser on his utility belt, but most of his focus was on Alex.

“This is a public place,” Alex said evenly, but TK could see him trying to hide his clenching fists behind his back. “You can’t arrest me for trespassing. And the restraining order was only filed in New York, and we know that was just a misunderstanding, right, baby?”

TK shifted uneasily at the small smile that had returned to Alex’s face, butterflies erupting in his chest at that charming face that had first caught his attention. For all intents and purposes, he seemed pleasant, sympathetic even, as if this was all just a misunderstanding, and suddenly had TK doubting himself.

He had been ready to marry this man. Had been convinced he had finally found his soulmate, the one he was ready to bare his heart and soul to, secure in the knowledge that it would be handled with tenderness and care. Even now, despite his relationship with Carlos, he felt his heart aching for the comfort and familiarity of a relationship he thought he would spend the rest of his life in.

It was as if Alex could sense his turmoil. The look on his face turned soft, that special wide-eyed looked he’d always saved for TK across his face. “Get dinner with me, Tyler. A fresh start—for both of us. We both know we’re it for each other. Don’t keep me waiting.”

TK didn’t even get a chance to respond. Alex was walking toward them now, arm outstretched for him to take, but Carlos was on him faster than TK could blink. He tackled him roughly to the ground, his face blank aside from the hard look in his eyes as he put his ex-boyfriend in cuffs. TK’s breath caught in his throat and he took an uncertain step forward, not sure who he was reaching for, only to be held back by Judd’s hand gently grabbing his arm and stilling his movements.

“Alex Young, you’re under arrest for trespassing and violation of a restraining order.” Carlos scowled, pulling Alex onto his feet. As he read him his Miranda rights, not once did Alex take his eyes off of TK, his expression pleading behind the hard glint in his eyes.

“Tyler, baby, don't let them do this to me,” Alex said to him, twisting in Carlos’s grip and trying to get closer to TK.

Carlos’ scowled deepened but he didn’t say anything, nodding to his partner standing off to the side and letting them escort Alex out of the station house to one of their cruisers.

Something twisted in Alex’s expression and TK found himself backing up against Judd, trying to ignore the way fear made his heart rate pick up. “You’ll regret this!” the man vowed, struggling against the officers hold to keep eye contact with TK. “You’re mine, Tyler! Do you hear me? You can’t run away from me tha—” He was cut off when he was shoved into the cruiser.

“He’s gone, TK,” Judd’s quiet voice in his ear made TK blink and his breath caught in his throat when the cruiser was suddenly gone. He didn’t realize he was shaking until Judd’s hands tightened slightly on his shoulders. “He’s gone, TK.”

“He’s a dick,” Marjan spoke up helpfully, Mateo and Paul humming in agreement. Dad, on the other hand, was eyeing him warily. TK didn’t blame him.

_But I loved him._ TK thought, staring at the space where the cruiser had been with tears in his eyes until Carlos’ face blocked his sight. Those warm brown eyes, full of concern and worry, showing more care and love than Alex ever had in a single moment.

And TK knew, he _knew_ , that while he might’ve loved Alex, Alex didn’t love him—not in the most important, all-encompassing ways in which Carlos cherished him. Rough hands gently cupped his face and brushed the tears off his face, a soft kiss lingering on his forehead. TK wrapped his arms tightly around Carlos’ waist, pulling against him, seeking his warmth and the comfort he always brought.

Here, in Carlos’ arms, he could pretend, just for a moment, that everything was okay. He could lose himself in the safety of Carlo’s strong arms around him, shielding him from the horrors of the world. It was a place he never wanted to leave.

**Author's Note:**

> first and foremost thank you to @liesoverthec for making the ending not quite as abrupt as a brick wall to the face (ily bon)
> 
> second i listened to vulnerable- selena gomez while writing this and recommend doing the same because for some reason it makes the story that much more emotional (or that might just be me lol)
> 
> third, i hope you guys enjoy this story :) i really wished the show had explored more of the medical complications following TK's hospitalization and his struggle with his feelings toward Alex, so I decided to write it! leave a comment and tell me what yall thought! i love hearing from you
> 
> i hope this brings you a little reprieve in the craziness of today's world <3 stay safe and be well, everyone


End file.
